We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
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Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
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I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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