They should really pass out barf bags in church
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
