you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
