my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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