Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
