True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
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i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
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according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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