like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
