The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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