I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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