Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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