I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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