yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
