Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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