Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
