I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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