Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
