Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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