if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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