Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize