Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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