she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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