He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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