road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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