Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
