speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
