he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I cut my penus on the lid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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