4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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