Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
