I feel like I'm in dance class right now
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
