his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
