He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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