I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
