im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
