i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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