Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
