is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He felt like a one man threesome
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
