hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
