Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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