u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
