i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
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