yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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