I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
