i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I wannas sexs uuuuu
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
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