worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
