isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
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