Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize