Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
