I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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