i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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