I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
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I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
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Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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