I feel like abortions should bother me more
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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