with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
