It's like God shit irony all over that family
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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