I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
