she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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