We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
