Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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