and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Holy sore nipples Batman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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