:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize
