But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Randomize
