so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
