So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Say something about gay babies.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
