So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
she peed on how many people?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
