I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
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